Final Wish
by Serpentine Malfoy
Summary: Willow must make a difficult choice.
1. Part 1

**Final Wish** -- by Serpentine Malfoy  
Email: serpentine_malfoy@yahoo.com  
Rating: R  
Description: Willow must make a difficult choice.  
Timeline: Season 4 | Willow/Spike | AU  
Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of its characters. I am doing this for my own enjoyment, I am making no profit.

* * *

Part One

Willow stared sightlessly at the phone. After a minute it made that annoying off the hook noise. She put in the cradle and stood. She grabbed her pink sweater and walked out of her dorm room. Willow walked to the park and sat on one of the many benches. She silently watched some kids playing on the swing set she and Xander played on as children. ~ That seems like so long ago. ~ As the last rays of sunlight filtered through the trees, the children went home for dinner. Leaving Willow alone with her thoughts.

~ This isn't happening! ~ Willow dropped her head in her hands. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Her tiny frame shaking with the force of her sobs. 

"Hello, pet." Spike said as he walked towards the redheaded figure. He did not hear her almost silent sobs, until he was directly in front of her. Looking around for the source of her trouble. Willow didn't even raise her head.

"Pet, what is the problem? Did someone attack you?" He once more took a pensive look around. Sitting down next to her, Spike placed his cool hand on hers. She slowly removed her hands from her face. Spike kept her warm hand in his as he watched her stare sightlessly over the darkened park. "Luv, are you going to tell me what's up?" He lightly rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.

She turned her tear stained face to him. She tried to pull her hand from his, but he wouldn't let her. She sighed heavily. "Spike, please go." She quietly said. Turning once more from him.

Spike looked at her with an eyebrow arched. "Pet, I'm not leaving you here in the dark, in Sunnydale no less."

"Why? I'm not your friend, why not leave me to my own choices?" Willow stared intensely into his blue eyes. Spike actually broke the look first.

"Pet, I have nothing against you, bloody hell I kinda like ya, now if you were the slayer I would leave you here to be eaten in a heartbeat!" Willow tried not to smile.

"You don't have a heartbeat!" Spike smirked.

"True, anyway, what is the problem?"

"I ... don't' want to die!" Her tears streamed relentlessly. Spike surprised by her outburst let her take her hand away. She put her head in her hands once more.

"Pet... I couldn't hurt you if I tried!" Spike couldn't figure out why she was afraid for her life.

With a mournful laugh Willow looked up at him, "I'm not afraid of you. I am dying. I found out today. I only have a month maybe two." She stared into his icy eyes. She couldn't define what she saw pass through them. If she had not known better she would have thought it was pain. Spike took her hands in his and smiled one of his most dazzling smiles. She warily looked at him. "Come, Pet. I know exactly what to do!" With that he swept her to her feet and hurriedly led her out of the park.

End Part One


	2. Part 2

**Final Wish** -- by Serpentine Malfoy

* * *

Part Two

"Where are you taking me? I really want to be alone." With a sniffle Willow tried to remove her hand from Spike's iron grip. He merely smiled down at her. She sighed deeply, ~ All I want to do is be alone, why won't he let me! ~

Spike may have smiled down on the little red head, but his heart was no where near light. The news of her impending death had hit him hard, harder than any human ever had. In the past a few humans had asked him to turn them before their death, but his undead heart never cared. But this little spitfire who always spoke her mind without pulling a punch was something special. Something he wasn't going to give up without a fight.

"Spike, please! Spike! Can you at least stop for a second!" Willow tugged on his hand to slow. Spike stopped and looked into her tear stained face.

"Yes, Willow?"

Willow was shocked he didn't call her Pet or Red or Ducks, he called her Willow. "Where are we going? It's dark and getting cold, and I ..." she was interrupted by Spike shrugging his duster off and slipping it over her tiny shoulders. Putting her arms through the sleeves and pulling it tight around herself she continued. "and I have a lot to think about now that...now that..." the tears started to run unheeded down her checks once more. Spike brushed the tears away with his thumb. When they continued to fall he stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. Her tiny frame was dwarfed by his tall one.

Stroking her head lightly, Spike stared off into the Sunnydale night. The stars burned brightly in the sky, but he wasn't seeing them, his mind kept rolling over the implications of his plan, but he didn't want her to be gone.

"Come with me, pet. I want to show you something." He kept an arm around her as he led her once more away.

Willow watched the lights of Sunnydale blink below her. The hill Spike had taken her to was high enough she could see most of the sleeping town. The sight was breath taking, this was somewhere she had never dared to go at night, but with the peroxide blond vampire standing next to her, she felt safe, something she never would have thought possible.

Spike watched Willow look over the scenic hill. His intention had been to try to cheer her a little, it had worked for her, but had not for him. The thought she may never see this again scared him. He had to do something, but would she let him.

"Luv, can I ask you something?" Willow looked up at him, seeing an emotion in his eyes she had never seen before. With a nervous nod Willow waited.

"Luv, I want to help you, but I can only help you in one way, but do you want that help?" Willow looked at him confused.

"I want to turn you, pet." Willow's eyes got wide. She stepped back a step, the step it took her to unknowingly stand on the edge of the hill. Spike stepped forward to warn her. She took the last step and began to fall...

End Part Two


	3. Part 3

**Final Wish** -- by Serpentine Malfoy

* * *

Part Three

Willow felt strong arms holding onto her for dear life. She had accidentally stepped right off of the edge of the hill. But before she plunged to an even earlier death. Spike leapt forward and caught. ~ Thank the Goddess for Vampiric speed! ~ Willow silently thought. Spike wouldn't let her go. If anything this had strengthened his resolve, the world could not loss this wonderful tiny spitfire. He would give anything to help her, but he knew he really only to one thing for this poor innocent creature.

Willow reveled in the feel of being held so tightly by Spike. She couldn't understand why he had even saved her, ~ What's the point? I am already dying, why not choose when to go? ~ Her dark thoughts were shattered as she felt Spike slowly release her from his death grip, making sure he still had his cool hand encased in her warm one.

"Willow, Luv." Willow almost smiled when he used the endearment 'Luv'. "We need to talk... but the sun is rapidly approaching. Will you please come with me?" Willow noticed the slight fear she may say no to him in his eyes. She thought for a moment, she really didn't feel like telling her friends what was happening and have the looks of pity in their eyes. Spike was the least likely to show her pity.

"Let's go." With that Spike hurried her away from the hill and to his home in Sunnydale.

* * *

"You live here? I thought you lived in a crypt?" Willow looked around the well-furnished town house that sat near the outskirts of Sunnydale. Spike smiled from his chair as the tiny girl explored his home. She turned to him. "Well..."

Spike smiled again, she was cute when she felt ignored. "I am a demon but don't always want to live like one." Willow nodded thinking that was a good enough answer. She once more turned to her inspection. "Willow, we need to talk? Please will you come over here and talk to me?"

Willow sheepishly looked at the floor. She didn't want to talk, it was of no use. With a trepidious sigh she slumped on the couch across from Spike's chair. She laid out straight upon the couch, for-seeing this was going to be a long talk.

"Luv, I know you don't want to talk about it but please..."

"What do you want to know? Why I'm dying? Why am I the one that has to die?" Willow began to cry once more. In one swift motion Spike was at her side and pulled her into his arms. He stroked her shoulder length red hair soothingly, she calmed under his gentle ministrations. He lovingly nuzzled her ear lob, murmuring softly in her ear that everything was going to be ok, he would fix it. Willow knew he couldn't but she let herself almost believe it.

"Spike... You really wouldn't turn me, would you?" ~ Why would Spike want some annoying goody goody tagging behind him for eternity, Willow you are so dumb, he could hasten the death so it wouldn't be as painful... ~ Spiked watched her face as she waged an inner battle. He thought about her question, should he turn this innocent or deprive the world of the warmth she could bring? A shudder ran through him, the idea of the darkness of the world without this tiny woman made him sad. 

The darkness in his own life without her made him want to cry. Spike realized he wouldn't know what to do with out her. She was really the only 'scooby' he could stand, the watcher being a distant second.

"Luv, I know it is a horrible choice, death or eternal death. But it is the only help I can give, wait maybe the watcher can use some mojo and..." Willow was shaking her head at him.

"No, I already researched there is no natural or super natural way to stop what nature has begun. I..." her voice broke as she began to explain, "I have cancer in a very very late stage. There is nothing the doctors can do for me but hook me up to machines and give me drugs to dull the pain. I did some research and found out this is a very painful death, I may linger and suffer for weeks after I have been incapacitated..." Willow looked up and froze. Spike had stopped petting her hair, she looked into his eyes and saw pain. She saw tears, actually tears forming in the eyes of the man who was once her enemy and now one of her closest friends. She reached a tentative hand up and brushed a stray tear from his cheek.

With an inner strength she didn't think she had she leaned forward and brushed the lightest of kisses across his cold lips. She then rested her head on his strong shoulder and let him hold her. Her tears had stopped while his had only begun...

* * *

"Willow?" Spike and Willow had fallen asleep on his living room floor. After holding each other for hours emotional exhaustion had finally set in. But as Spike woke, Willow was no where to be seen. "Willow?" Getting alarmed Spike bolted from the room and up the stairs. Calming as he heard the shower running. He went back downstairs to wait for Willow.

* * *

Willow stared into the mirror. She saw an emptiness that had been in her eyes since she had learned she was sick, then yesterday learned she was dying, disappear as she thought of Spike. He had been gentle to her, going against everything in his nature, he had cared so much more deeply than she thought he did. That still confused her but she felt a warmth in the thought he would miss her when she was... Willow didn't want to finish that thought.

Putting on her resolve face she ran a brush once more through her hair and headed downstairs to Spike.

* * *

Spike looked up as he sensed Willow descending the stairs, he quickly moved to her to make sure she made it down alright. She smiled warmly up at him as he took her elbow and led her to the couch. Sitting only scant inches from him Willow giggled.

"Are you alright, Willow?" Spike looked into her green eyes. She nodded.

"Spike, I need to ask you something, you don't have to answer but I wish you would..." Spike nodded for her to continue, "First a confession. I love you, I have had a crush on you forever, but last night I knew I loved you and always will." Spike looked surprised. Willow smiled at him, "Would it be possible you..." Willow was stopped as Spike put a finger to her lips.

"Willow, I love you. I hadn't really put it in so many words until the thought you wouldn't be around forever hit me. I can't handle that. Please be with me, I want to take care of you till the end of time." Spike moved his finger from her lips. Willow sat staring into bottomless blue eyes.

Willow leaned forward and captured his lips. After the briefest of moment's hesitation, Spike deepened the kiss. Willow moaned lightly as he ran his hands gently down her sides. She whimpered at the pleasure he was giving her. He began to unbutton the shirt she was wearing as she did the same to him. Their worries were temporarily forgotten as the two star crossed lovers became one.

* * *

Willow woke in an unfamiliar bed. She remembered the wonderful afternoon she had spent in the arms of her love. She rolled over and looked into his smiling handsome face. His blue eyes sparkling. "I love you." He simply stated.

"I love you, too, William." Spike smiled as she called him his real name. Willow smiled then frowned. She looked away from him. Her eyes filling quickly with tears. Instantly she was in Spike's arms.

"What, What is it love?"

"I don't want to leave you, I want to be with you forever, but..." Willow stopped. She looked into his loving eyes. "I need to think, I don't if I could live with myself as a vampire. Can you understand?"

"Luv, I will do whatever you wish, if you want to think, then you may think." He kissed the top of her head and held her close.

"William, we need to talk to Giles, I don't want the others to know about my... what is going to happen. But Giles needs to know. Will you go with me, it is really going to be hard to look at the sadness in his eyes." Spike marveled at the unending spring of love that poured from this tiny woman. Her death was upon her and she was thinking of the sadness she would cause her friends.

"Luv, I would follow you anywhere. Let's go speak to the watcher."

* * *

Willow held Spike's hand tightly. She waited for Giles to say something... anything... Since telling him of her plight, all he did was remove his glasses clean them over and over with a cloth and stare at the floor.

Spike watched the watcher. He was about to say something when Giles lifted his head. Silent tears were coursing down his cheeks. Willow gulped, the tears returning to her eyes. She let go of Spike's hand and walked to Giles.

She put her arms around him. He tightly held her back. Spike silently watched Willow try to comfort Giles. Once more his mind marveled on how this tiny creature could feel so much for others. She was more concerned for Giles then herself.

Giles sat back. Willow returned to Spike's side. She took his comforting hand and looked into his icy blue eyes. He gave her a small smile, not a mocking 'Spike' smile, but a 'William' smile that he only gave to her. She attempted to give him a tiny smile in return.

"Willow...I have no idea what to say. There is nothing that the doctors can do?" Giles asked after noting the exchange between Spike and Willow, he held no ill will to the vampire, if Willow chose him that made him okay in Giles' book.

"No...As I said the doctors can't help, neither can magic I contacted some witches I know they tried to find something to help, but to no avail. It is just something I have to accept. Giles I need your help..." She squezed Spike's hand. "I have to make a descion and I need your help..."

Giles looked at her expectingly. "Spike can help me..." Giles' eyes grew big. He knew where this was going. 

Before she could continue he interputed, "Willow, I know you. You couldn't bring yourself to do such a thing without our consent. You have it, if it is the only way then it has to be. You must go on, the world is bad enough, you are one of the few good things left. I could give you your soul back without any clauses..." 

Willow let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. "Oh, Giles, I love you. Thank you." She felt Spike kiss the side of her forhead. He released her hand and walked to the watcher. And in an uncharacteristic action he thanked a man who for a very long time had been an enemy, but know a saint in Spike's eyes.

"Well...erm...when were you going to do this?"

"Soon, I am already thinner and paler than usual. I would rather not look sickely for eternity. Not that I am rushing into my mortal death, but I need to consider an eternity." Spike nodded to her, she was right sooner than later was prudent. "But there is one more thing, I need your help with..."

As Giles listened carefully to her wishes he nodded. He wasn't sure if he agreed with her request, but he would do what she asked.

* * *

Giles made preprations. Everything was set. He sat down in his chair as his tears fell. He hadn't realized this was going to be so hard.

* * *

Buffy held onto Angel tightly. She buryed her face in his shoulder. The tears refusing to stop. He silently smoothed her hair. His face wrought with sadness. 

The others were their. Giles was trying to be strong, but his eyes gave away his sadness. Anya and Xander were crying together. 

Cordelia stood on the outskirts tears silently streaming down her cheeks. A hand lightly touched her shoulder, she looked up into Wesley's eyes. She felt better as he took her into his arms and let her cry for her the loss of a girl she had wished she had given more of her time.

Spike stood in the kitchen of the watchers apartment. His eyes were cold. He felt regret. He felt guilt. Things he hadn't felt in a very long time. He closed his eyes, wishing he could stop his hearing as well. The sobs from the slayer and her slayerettes were making him feel worse.

* * *

The service was beautiful. Flowers were everywhere. Only Buffy, Xander, Anya, Cordelia, Wesely, Giles attended the funeral. Daylight preventing Angel or Spike to attend. After they each said how much they cared for Willow, they all went together to the grave. Hand in hand they left the cemetery. Memories of the bravest among them in their minds.

After dark Angel walked into the cemetery. He felt a familiar presence. He slowly headed towards the fresh grave. He saw the tall blonde vampire standing in front of the brand new stone. He continued to walk forward slowly.

Spike turned and nodded to him. He comented on how the stone was beautiful in the moonlight. Angel nodded, anything that was Willow's was beautiful.

* * *

Giles distributed the envelopes to the group sitting in his living room. Everyone was once more present. Except Angel and Spike.

Each envelope had been addressed to each of the scoobys. Buffy burst into tears as she recognized Willow's delicate hand writing. She looked into Giles' eyes.

"She told me to give these to each of you after...after...she had left us." He finished quietly.

Buffy opened her envelope first. She read the beautiful good bye from her best friend. The other read theirs silently. Giles moved to the phone to call Spike. No answer.

* * *

Angel walked silently to the Giles' apartment. An emergency meeting had been called. 

As the scoobys once more sat in Giles' living room Giles walked to Angel. Handing him an elegant stark white envelope. He quietly requested he read it at home. Angel nodded, distinctly aware this particular note had been written by Willow, her distinctive scent was on it. He would cherish her final words to him alone later.

"Have any of you seen Spike since the funeral?" Only Angel had, the night at her tombstone. He had left him there to mourn silently.

"I think we should look for him. He may want to be alone, but... I don't know if that is the best thing..." Giles looked up at them. He could see the skeptisism in their eyes, except surprisingly Angel's. "Just keep a look out at patrol then" 

They all filed out. Angel the last, he turned to Giles. "Would you want to go look for Spike with me?" Giles tentativly asked.

Angel nodded and the two headed out the door.

* * *

Angel removed the envelope from his pocket later. They had been unable to find Spike. After promising to look again tomorrow night, Angel had headed home away from the coming sun.

He removed the crisp white stationary. Her elegant scrawl on the page.

Angel,  
  
I know we weren't really close before you lost your soul, but after you returned we really became friends. I want you to promise to help Buffy, you love her as much as I do. I know I can trust you to watch out for the rest of them as well.  
When I found out I was going to die I felt bad, not only for myself but for all of you. I want you all to know I am happy and always will be. Eternity will be good to me.  
I just wish I could see you one last time, under the full moon. You could say your good byes personally to me, if we could do that. Keep an eye out for William. He will likely disappear within himself. I know you aren't as close as you once were but I know he is worth your time and patience.  
I know I have been babbeling. I want to say 'good journey' to you my friend.  
For eternity,  
Willow 

Angel replaced the letter into it's envelope. He sat and stared off. His mind whirling, something felt off, he just couldn't figure out what.

* * *

Giles looked down at the grave, wairly seeing the pile of dust on the ground in front of him. The scoobys had all been patroling the cemetery when Giles had wanted to look at Willow's grave. He hadn't been surprised at the ashes in front of the stone. His suspicions had been confirmed.

He went and told the others. Angel stayed behind as the others left. He looked down at the ashes his brows furrowed. He leant down and touched the light pile, ashes scattering on the light breeze. He stood and headed to his apartment to think.

* * *

The full moon shone down on the cemetery. Angel silently walked to the grave. He placed a single white rose on the stone. He felt a presence behind him. 

He turned to see Giles standing at the edge of a row of graves. Without saying a word he motioned Angel to follow.

He led him to the center of a clearing in the woods near the cemetery. He saw Giles walk to a fallen tree and sit. Resting his tired bones. Angel could feel it before he saw motion between the trees on the edge of the clearing.

He held an unnesasary breath as the figure walked out from between the trees. He took a tentative step forward and found himself being hugged by the tiny immortal red head.

"Angel, I knew you would figure it out. Spike wasn't so sure. I was you are very aware of your surroundings." Angel lifted his head. Looking directly into Spikes blue eyes, they held an emotion he hadn't seen in his eyes in a long time.

"Mate, I needed to know you wouldn't interfere. She is my love, and my life. My soul." Spike put his hand on her shoulder. She smiled up at him. Her hair praticaly glowed in the moonlight.

"I wouldn't Spike. She has her soul, I can tell. Giles, you knew?"

"Yes, Spike and Willow came to me. They wanted to be together. Willow was dying and she had decided to be turned. But she wanted to leave this life behind, thus her final wish was for her 'death' here. She wanted to say good bye to her friends. Their memories of her would be maried if they knew she was a vampire, souled or other wise."

"And the ashes? I knew they weren't yours Spike. I could tell." Angel asked.

"Just some random vamp, we put his ashes there to make the others think Spike was dead, wait you knew..." Willow said. Looking at Angel closely.

Angel looked Spike in the eye, "I would know if my favorite childe were dead." Spike broke the stare first. He didn't know what he was thinking.

"So why tell me?"

"Because I thought maybe in a few years, we could meet up again. After Willow and I travel about for a bit..." Spike trailed off.

"That would be nice." Angel smiled at them. Willow stood in shock, a smiling Angel that's a new one.

"Well, you two should be off." Giles hugged Willow. He told her to have a good journey. He watched as the two figures walked into the darkness. He knew he wouldn't see her again, but her final wish to him was to never forget her, he knew he would always keep his promise.

Angel turned to the watcher and the two left together. Beautiful Willow would always be in their thoughts.

**The End**


End file.
